erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
