oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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