school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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