Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
