just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
