There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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