Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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