I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize