I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
