My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
