She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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