I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
