yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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