You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
