You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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