Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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