I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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