What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
