I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize