we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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