NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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