omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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