even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
