Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
