Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
