You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
