we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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