If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
third nipple confirmed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
