you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
