Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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