I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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