there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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