yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
