I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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