Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
