Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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