No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
