I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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