Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
