you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
