His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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