I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
