So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
