Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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