her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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