she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
