last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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