You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
