She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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