i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
