She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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