he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
