You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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