Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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