reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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