No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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