So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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