I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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