So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
only if we run a train.
done.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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