Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
