Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
