is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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