Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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