I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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