I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
