I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
