I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
